by Donna Drejza
© 2016 Donna Drejza
5 Ways to do it with Sexy People!
If you want to have sex all the time with gorgeous people —become a writer. As a fiction writer, you get to
create good-looking characters —then get them to do whatever you want! This means you can have sex with them. Yes,
even you! Fictitious people tend to be better than real people anyway.
You can even get them to love you back. If they dump you, you can get them to
come groveling back in say, chapter 17.
In my novel, Palm Beach Busybodies, Emma has many sexy scenes with Graham, the handsome British yacht captain. Graham has green eyes, a deep clef in his chin, broad shoulders and is very smart. Besides sailing yachts, he plays the guitar and sings. I always pictured Ewan McGregor playing him in the movie version, and even added a singing role just for him. Are you reading this Ewan? If not, Julian Ovenden of Downton Abbey also has a lovely singing voice and looks good in a tux.
In my novel, Palm Beach Busybodies, Emma has many sexy scenes with Graham, the handsome British yacht captain. Graham has green eyes, a deep clef in his chin, broad shoulders and is very smart. Besides sailing yachts, he plays the guitar and sings. I always pictured Ewan McGregor playing him in the movie version, and even added a singing role just for him. Are you reading this Ewan? If not, Julian Ovenden of Downton Abbey also has a lovely singing voice and looks good in a tux.
Originally,
the book only had one sex scene; then all of my male friends said, “What? We
have to read through 424 pages of unrequited love and Chanel dresses, just for
one sex scene? Their helpful advice revolved around making the novel jam packed with sex scenes and adding some
car chases and wars. We settled on a couple of murders and 5 steamy scenes.
As the book was wrapping up, I sent it off for final edit. My editor said the sex scenes all had to go. She is a woman. I’ve never met her, but I’m sure she looks
like the church lady from Saturday Night Live. I chose to ignore her.
Here are 5 ways do it with sexy people. If you decline my invitation to La La Land, and prefer to operate in the real world, the hints are still helpful.
1. Sexy characters.
This is fiction so you can make him or her anyway you like. Long, uncut, moaner, handsome,
British Accent. Hmm. You can have more than one, but they have to be unique.
Muscular, tanned, Rich, green eyes, dimples. Ah, the mind wanders.
2. Dangerous venue.
Have the characters trapped somehow in close dark quarters. Emma and Graham are often stranded at sea. Characters are always swapping cabins, or walking in on each
other. They get caught in the rain a lot. Wet = sexy.
Have the power go off, or make it really hot, so the characters are
just wearing slips, and are glistening.
3. Forbid the love.
Emma is in love with her soul mate Dr. Weinstein. But she can’t have him
because he’s married, so she has to be fixed up with his yacht captain. But
whenever she’s having sex with Graham, she’s thinking of the Dr.
4. Variety is the
spice. There are a lot of ways to do it. Take a gander at the kama sutra
for ideas. Ask people to demonstrate their favorite ways. For "research
purposes," I had a man help me act out a few things, you know to be able
to describe it just right. You will not have a shortage of volunteers.
5. Special effects.
Have some Bossa Nova songs playing in the background. Have a character play the saxophone,
or write poems in the sand. Maybe a
flute is sexier, because now I have an image of Woody Allen in my head. Besides provocative songs, have candles and sexy lingerie. Stop
whatever you’re doing right now and get some whipped cream! Graham writes “I
love you,” on Emma’s naked body with RediWhip
then he eats it off her. In another scene he pours a
salty margherita on her glistening body and then licks it off.
Okay, I might have to have a
cigarette, even though I don’t smoke.
No comments:
Post a Comment