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| Dear Ursula. Sage advice from a pug. |
Typed By Donna Drejza
(Ursula has no thumbs.)
(Ursula has no thumbs.)
Today's column is the first of a series of advice columns, answered by my pug Ursula.
Dear Ursula,
Every year, my in-laws invite us to their home for St.
Patrick Day. My mother-in-law always gets stinking drunk and over cooks the
corned beef. My husband doesn’t want to say anything. What
should I do?
Mary Lou in Boston
Dear Mary Lou, I am sure many of our readers can relate to
getting stinking drunk. You have a few
options: 1. You can have your wimpy husband keep his mother out of the sauce.
2. You can turn this into an opportunity, by secretly recording her and
threatening to put it on facebook. This video can be used to get free trips,
and the valuable silver.
Dear Ursula,
Our next-door neighbor likes to sunbath with her top off. My
husband George has now decided to paint the house, even though we have aluminum
siding. I think it’s so he can see over the fence. How can I get her to keep a
top on?
Gloria in Omaha
Dear Gloria, you have married a peeping-tom and live next to
a floozy. I think you should move away. There are nicer places than Omaha anyway.
Something bothering you? Send it to Ursula, and get the answers you need. If you ask nicely, or buy her lingerie, she'll tell you what you want to hear.
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